so i know why

i keep telling him i can't do this quick and i don't think he get it...

later the night when all my friends online, i found that msg is the least i want to reply.

and why wolfy can make me laugh so easily while he cannot?
all he gave was pressure and pressure...

so i know why.

whom is the key.

i hate to say "it would have been better, if..."

it would have been better, if it's not this period of time.

it would have been better, if everything slows down.

it would have been better, if it's not the extension of SH biz trip drive me crazy.

it would really have been better if there is a if.

so i will just have to accept this.
forgive me.

心有點悸動，BSB發片

圖：下北沢

好，我知道Backstreet Boys是本人中三 (或更早) 年代的歌，那年我迷他們 (最喜歡怪樣AJ) 和Spice Girls真是超要命的。家裡有所有限量CD，MV VHS，每天和GladysAmanda大隻妙那群可愛女生瘋在一起，拼夠五個女生就扮Spice Girls；到英國旅行甚麼都沒買就是買BSB 和SG當封面的SmashHit之類的雜誌。我英文的accents全由那裡來，到今時今日朋友叫我唱Get Down時，我還能夠一字一腔不漏的模仿。

回憶是金黃色的沒錯，但我卻沒心思要為自己懷舊一翻而感到悲哀，畢竟，人生每一個階段都有彩虹色的部份，要我只迷戀往日的種種實在太辛苦我。

我要說的是，當大家為王菲演唱會賣千二元的門票在討論時，BSB這群男人發片了。沒有Spice Girls碧咸太太要找名設計師的新聞，就這樣 That Is Us. 曲風沒變，就是那麼boy band.

很好，哈哈。

音樂不只是要好聽

音樂天分不高的我小時候被迫去彈鋼琴，那個陰影大概把我和跟古典音樂割裂了。

流行曲也不太懂欣賞，因為覺得有共鳴的很少。

音樂在我的生活中重要的部份是去穩定我的思潮，有心悅的音樂陪伴，世界總會美麗多。

除了 Mondialito，Modern Children的音樂和 Live表演我都極喜歡。

就是說不出原因。不用沉溺在矯情裡的歌，原來那麼清新可人，看著他們投入的演出，很羨慕那種忘我。

The Italy song

Music and Lyrics: Kenneth
Cello: Peter D

For the time has come for us to do some searching
We've been here too long
For the time has come when strangers must part
and drift along once more
people come and go
Lingering smile, faces pass
people come and go
for what they found we don't know
people come and go
for what we found we don't know

Trial listening:
http://www.myspace.com/kennethandplayground
Buy CD (HK$50, US$8): tsangmingkin@gmail.com

窗台

睡前總會看看窗台，那是個聯合國，從旅行買回來的無聊東東都在這。

Mary Blair的娃娃。

書，畫冊，紙屋，動物木公仔，甚麼都有。

公司送的燈，小小谷(已霉掉的狗娃娃)。

Why is love intensified by absence?

Clare: I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I’m tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that’s been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?

Henry: How does it feel? How does it feel?
Sometimes it feels as though your attention has wandered for just an instant. Then with a start, you realize that the book you were holding, the red plaid cotton shirt with white buttons. The favorite black jeans and the maroon socks with an almost-hole in one heel: all of these have vanished. You are standing, naked as a jaybird.

2004. sep. it was not yet the end of summer when I bought the book The Time Traveller’s Wife from Page One. I do not remember what attracted me, the cover? Not very outstanding. The introduction at the back page? Not likely. The comments from VOGUE and THE TIMES? Nah. But I am glad none of these is the reason. The truth of me reading this novel for over 6 times (516pages to me IS something), and flipped one or two chapters whenever I felt unsettled, and with an unusual note left at the back page of the book, where I used to write : if you find this book, please email…, the sentence was crossed out, instead it now says “if you find this book, READ IT.” There is no better reason other than the story and the language. Audrey Niffenegger is not only a visual artist, a professional, but also the one of a kind author. She created a world to me.

Departure makes reunion valuable. Love intensifies by unpredictable absence.

It makes me think of a scenario, that why when one is at the edge of breaking up, it’s often felt that every moment is more memorable than the past: you two holding hand in hand, not willing to sleep, thinking of what should make the best last word; you two have never been this casual to say whatever you want to until this very last moment; the breakfast you cooked was the most delicious one, your accompany to the bus stations marked the last time of your identity of his girlfriend, and her boyfriend. That was the last moment before breaking up. You wish time can stay and nothing gonna change. But obviously you are the only one who stayed. He/ She had long gone.

A few years after the publication of The Time Traveller’s Wife, Brad Pitt, who by the time was with Jennifer Aniston, bought the film right of the book. After their divorce I thought it will never go on air. Nevertheless, it happened, and the movie didn’t let me down (except the poster). I very much appreciated that the last part of the book was not covered. Here I would like to cite part of Henry’s letter to Clare, for those who like the book/ movie:

Last summer, I was sitting in Kendricks’s waiting room when I suddenly found myself in a dark hallway in a house I don’t’ know. I was sort of tangled up in a bunch of galoshes, and it smelled like rain. At the end of the hall I could see a rim of light around a door, and so I went very slowly and very quietly to the door and looked in. The room was white, and intensely lit with morning sun. At the window, with her back to me, sat a woman, wearing a coral-colored cardigan sweater, with long white hair all down her back. She had a cup of tea beside her, on a table. I must have made some little noise, or she sensed me behind her…she turned and saw me, and I saw her and it was you, Clare, this was you as an old woman, in the future. It was sweet, Clare, it was sweet beyong telling, to come as though from death to hold you, and to see the years all present in your face. I won’t tell you any more, or you can imagine it, so you can have it unrehearsed when the time comes, as it will, as it does come. We will see each other again, Clare. Until then, live, fully, present in the world, which is so beautiful.

picture: roppongi hills

不笨，好叻

Burnard 與我工作只有一年，其間沒機會深入的認識他。作為一個插畫師他是靈活多變的，怎樣的風格也難不到他。

後來分道揚鏕，便再沒機會看見他的畫，直至農夫的漫畫出現在雜誌內。那是兩只瘋狂熊貓的故事。

不知道何時多變的特質成絆腳石，笨叻 (Burnard)問過我，怎樣才會有自己的獨特的風格。先別說我不是專業的畫師，但作為讀者的我覺得個人風格一是天生的，那些人畫不到其他樣式的畫。另外的是專煉而成，是日子，是經歷。那就只有不斷尋找。

先看這個新作，

謝謝笨叻。